FLOOD TWO

 

I had a full bladder

And went outside to piss.

The streets ran with it.

The whole business district

Had a uriniferous smell.

It became so deep

That the stock markets closed.

Everyone was sure the world

Was coming to an end.

On the other hand

People were not sure

If they should be angry or sad

Or just disgusted.

Only the Traders showed no sign of being nonplussed.

They stood at the top of the stairs,

Right where Washington had been sworn in as President.

Only a few protected their noses

With handkerchiefs.

They made bets as to how high

This tide of urine would rise

And they were ready to climb

Even higher if necessary.

I really wanted to get rid of them,

But even my bladder has its limits.

I should have known

That if the Federal Government

Couldn’t pass a law

Inhibiting their activity,

All the piss in the world

Would be similarly ineffectual.

Eventually I gave up

Like god gave up

When he tried to drown the world

With his flood.

In that previous episode

Noah outsmarted him,

So now the whole Earth is full of shitheads.

This time it’s the Derivative Traders.

It’s their turn.

Let them inherit the Earth.

As for me, I quit.

Maybe forever.

 

RETURN to Sociological Lamentations One